For many families, the end of the school year is a time of celebration. There are sports days, school plays, award ceremonies and reports that mark another year of growth and achievement. Children look forward to the freedom of the summer holidays, while parents begin planning days out, holidays and time together.

For bereaved children and young people, however, this season can bring a more complicated mix of emotions.

Alongside pride and excitement, they may feel sadness, anxiety or a heightened awareness of someone who is missing. As the school gates close for summer, it’s important to remember that grief doesn’t take a holiday.

When milestones bring mixed emotions

The end of the school year is full of milestones, whether it’s moving into a new class, leaving primary school or simply completing another year. These achievements can remind children of the person they wish was there to celebrate with them.

They might think, “Mum should have been at my sports day,” or “Dad would have been so proud of my report.” Happy moments can also bring sadness and that’s completely normal.

Children don’t have to choose between feeling proud and missing someone they love. Both emotions can exist at the same time.

Why the summer holidays can feel different

School provides routine, stability and familiar adults who children see every day. For many bereaved children, teachers and friends become an important source of support.

When the holidays begin, those routines disappear. Days become less structured, friends may be away and there is often more time spent with family. Summer activities such as holidays, picnics and birthdays can also make the absence of a loved one feel more noticeable.

For some children, the second half of the summer holidays can also bring worries about September. Starting a new class, moving to a new school or meeting new teachers can feel daunting, particularly if they are unsure how or whether to talk about the person who has died or changes within their family.

Some children may seem happier without the pressures of school, while others become quieter, more emotional or unsettled. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Grief doesn’t stop because children are smiling

Children often move in and out of their grief. They may be upset one moment and happily playing the next. A child can genuinely enjoy a day at the beach or a trip to the park, then suddenly become tearful because something reminds them of the person who has died. Some children even feel guilty for having fun, worrying that enjoying themselves means they’re forgetting someone special.

Gentle reassurance can make a big difference. Let them know it’s okay to laugh, play and make happy memories while still carrying their loved one in their heart.

The signs of grief aren’t always obvious

Grief isn’t always expressed through tears or conversations about the person who died. Sometimes the signs are much quieter and can easily be mistaken for tiredness, boredom or changes in behaviour.

You might notice your child:

• Becoming more clingy than usual.
• Getting frustrated over small things.
• Complaining of headaches or tummy aches with no obvious cause.
• Keeping themselves constantly busy to avoid quiet moments.
• Becoming withdrawn or spending more time alone.
• Losing confidence or struggling to make decisions.
• Asking the same questions about the death as they continue to process what has happened.
• Having changes in sleep or appetite.
• Becoming upset before activities they normally enjoy.
• Trying to appear “strong” by hiding their own feelings to protect others.

Sometimes grief appears after a lovely day out, when everything becomes quiet again. It can also be triggered by seeing another family together, hearing a favourite song or smelling a familiar perfume or meal.

These reactions are all part of the grieving process. Rather than looking for one obvious sign, it can help to notice changes in your child’s behaviour and gently remind them that you’re there whenever they want to talk.

Supporting your child through the summer break

You don’t need to have all the answers. Often, what children need most is to feel safe, listened to and accepted.

Here are a few simple ways to support them over the summer:

Keep some routines

While holidays naturally bring flexibility, maintaining familiar mealtimes, bedtimes or weekly activities can help children feel secure.

Create opportunities to talk

Some children won’t bring up their grief unless they know it’s okay to do so. Simple comments such as, “I’ve been thinking about Grandad today,” can open the door without creating pressure.

Accept changing emotions

Grief isn’t linear. Children may move quickly between sadness and happiness, and that’s a healthy part of how they process loss.

Prepare gently for September

If your child is facing a new class or school, they may be anxious about questions relating to their family or the person who has died. Talking these through over the summer and letting the school know about their bereavement can help them feel more confident when September arrives.

Reassure them that joy is allowed

Having fun doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten the person who died. Children need permission to enjoy life without feeling guilty.

Take care of yourself too

Supporting a grieving child while managing your own emotions can be exhausting. Looking after your own wellbeing helps you continue being there for them.

Remembering while making new memories

Many families worry that creating new traditions somehow means leaving their loved one behind. In reality, remembering and moving forward can happen together.

You could:

• Visit a favourite place they loved.
• Make their favourite summer meal or picnic.
• Share stories and look through photographs together.
• Plant flowers or spend time in nature.
• Create a memory jar filled with favourite moments.
• Light a candle or write a letter on a special date.
• Enjoy an activity they loved, whether that’s flying a kite, building sandcastles or watching a favourite film.

These small traditions help children understand that although someone has died, they remain an important part of the family’s story.

Be mindful of the financial impact of bereavement

The death of a parent or caregiver can also bring significant financial changes for a family. During the summer holidays, when the cost of childcare, activities and days out can quickly add up, these pressures may feel even greater. 

Children and young people are often more aware of the family’s circumstances than adults realise. Some may stop asking to take part in activities, avoid invitations from friends, or worry about being a financial burden. Reassure them that these feelings are understandable and encourage open conversations where appropriate. 

Remember that meaningful time together doesn’t have to be expensive – a walk, a picnic, a trip to the park, baking at home or simply spending time together can be just as valuable. 

If finances are creating additional challenges, don’t be afraid to seek support from local organisations, schools or community groups that may be able to help.

Come and Meet the Mosaic Team This Summer

If you’re out and about over the summer, we’d love to see you at one of the community events we’ll be attending. Whether you’d like to find out more about the support we offer, ask a question, or simply say hello, our friendly team will be there throughout the summer. You can find us at Warmwell Village Fete at Warmwell House on 26th July, the Sherborne Classic & Supercar Show on 26th July, the Pirate Partee at Tuckton Tea Gardens, Bournemouth on 8th August, and the Dorset Plane Pull in Bournemouth on 31st August.

By visiting us, you’ll not only be helping to raise awareness of the support available for bereaved children and young people, but you’ll also be helping to raise vital funds for Mosaic. Every donation, purchase and conversation helps us continue providing specialist support to children and families across Dorset, ensuring that no child has to face grief alone.

You’re not alone

Grief doesn’t follow the school calendar. While classrooms may close for the summer, children’s emotions continue to change as they grow and reach new milestones.

At Mosaic, we understand that every child’s grief journey is unique. Our specialist team continues to support bereaved children, young people and their families throughout the year, helping them explore their feelings in safe, age-appropriate ways and reminding them that they don’t have to face grief alone.

Whether your child wants to talk, play, create or simply spend time with someone who understands, support is available.

This summer, remember that it’s okay for children to experience happiness alongside sadness, excitement alongside longing and hope alongside grief. With patience, understanding and the right support, families can create new memories while keeping the love for someone special close to their hearts.

If you would like to learn more about the support that Mosaic provides for bereaved children, young people and their families, please get in touch. We’re here to help whenever you’re ready.